Boy: May I hold your hand?
Girl: No, thanks. It isn't heavy.
Girl: Say you love me! Say you love me!
Boy: You love me...
Girl: If we become engaged,
will you give me a ring?
Boy: Sure, what's your phone number?
Girl: I think the poorest people are
Boy: Then marry me and we'll be
the happiest couple.
Girl: Darling, I want to dance like this
Boy: Don't you ever want to improve?
Boy: I love you and I could die for you!
Girl: How soon?
Boy: I would go to the end of the world
Girl: Yes, but would you stay there?
Sharon: Have you ever had a hot
passionate, burning kiss?
Tracy: I did once. He'd forgotten to take
the cigarette out of his mouth.
Man: You remind me of the sea.
Woman: Because I'm wild, romantic and
Man: NO, because you make me sick.
Wife: You tell a man something. It goes in
one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband: You tell a woman something. It
goes in both ears and comes out of
Mary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says
I'm ugly. What do you think, Pete?
Pete: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Girlfriend: Are you sure you love me and no
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole
list again yesterday.
Teacher: Which is more important to us,
the sun or the moon?
Pupil: The moon.
Pupil: The moon gives us light at night when
we need it, but the sun gives us light only
in the daytime when we don't need it.
Teacher: What do you call a person who
keeps on talking when people are no
Pupil: A teacher.
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
Teacher: Sam, you talk a lot!
Sam: It's a family tradition.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Sam: Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker,
my father is a teacher.
Teacher: What about your mother?
Sam: She's a woman.
Tom: How should I convey the news to
my father that I've failed?
Joe: You just send a telegram: Result
declared, past year's performance
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man
beating a donkey and stopped him,
what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do
you say prayers before eating?
Sam: No sir, I don't have to. My mom
is a good cook.
Patient: What are the chances of my
Doctor: One hundred percent. Medical
records show that nine out of ten
people die of the disease you have.
Yours is the tenth case I've treated.
The others all died.
Teacher: Can anybody give an example of
Student: Sir, my Mum and Dad got married
on the same day and at the same time.
Teacher: George Washington not only
chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you
know why his father didn't punish him?
Student: Because George still had the axe
in his hand.