What is the insensitive bit at the base

of the penis called?

The man.



What's the difference between

government bonds and men?

Bonds mature.



What's the difference between a man

and E.T.?

E.T. phoned home.



How are men like noodles?

They're always in hot water, they lack

taste, and they need dough.



Why do men like BMWs?

They can spell it.



What do an anniversary and a toilet

have in common?

Men always miss them.



Why are men like popcorn?

They satisfy you, but only for a little

while.



Why are men and spray paint alike?

One squeeze and they're all over you.



Why are men like blenders?

You need one, but you're not quite

sure why.



Why is food better than men?

Because you don't have to wait

an hour for seconds.



Why do so many women fake orgasm?

Because so many men fake foreplay.



Why are women so bad at mathematics?

Because men keep telling them that this

|<----------------------| is 12 inches.



Why do men like frozen microwave

dinners so much?

They like being able to both eat and

make love in under 5 minutes.



Why would women be better off if men

treated them like cars?

At least then they would get a little

attention every 6 months or 50,000

miles, whichever came first.



What do you call a man who expects

to have sex on the second date?

Slow.



How many men does it take to screw

in a light bulb?

One, men will screw anything.



Why do men have a hole in their penis?

So oxygen can get to their brains.



What is the difference between men

and pigs?

Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.



What do ceramic tile and men have

in common?

If you lay them right the first time,

you can walk on them for life!



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