When a man steals your wife, there is no
better revenge than to let him keep her.
After marriage, husband and wife become
two sides of a coin; they just can't face
each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife,
you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll
become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and
prevents us from achieving them.
The great question - which I have not been
able to answer - is, 'What does a woman want?
I had some words with my wife, and she
had some paragraphs with me.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant two times a
week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
dancing. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even
faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first
one left me, and the second one didn't.
－James Holt McGavra
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your
wife's birthday is to forget it once....
You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband
when she's wrong.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:
'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred
letters. They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'