When a man steals your wife, there is no

better revenge than to let him keep her.

-David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become

two sides of a coin; they just can't face

each other, but still they stay together.

-Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife,

you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll

become a philosopher.


Woman inspires us to great things, and

prevents us from achieving them.


The great question - which I have not been

able to answer - is, 'What does a woman want?


I had some words with my wife, and she

had some paragraphs with me.

-Sigmund Freud

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.

We take time to go to a restaurant two times a

week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and

dancing. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.


There's a way of transferring funds that is even

faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

-Sam Kinison

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first

one left me, and the second one didn't.

-James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it.

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

-Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your

wife's birthday is to forget it once....


You know what I did before I married?

Anything I wanted to.


My wife and I were happy for twenty years.

Then we met.

-Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband

when she's wrong.

-Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:

'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred

letters. They all said the same thing:

'You can have mine.'


First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'


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