When a man steals your wife, there is no

better revenge than to let him keep her.



-David Bissonette





After marriage, husband and wife become

two sides of a coin; they just can't face

each other, but still they stay together.



-Sacha Guitry





By all means marry. If you get a good wife,

you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll

become a philosopher.



-Socrates





Woman inspires us to great things, and

prevents us from achieving them.



-Anonymous





The great question - which I have not been

able to answer - is, 'What does a woman want?



-Dumas





I had some words with my wife, and she

had some paragraphs with me.



-Sigmund Freud





Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.

We take time to go to a restaurant two times a

week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and

dancing. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.



-Anonymous





There's a way of transferring funds that is even

faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.



-Sam Kinison





I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first

one left me, and the second one didn't.



-James Holt McGavra





Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it.

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.



-Patrick Murra





The most effective way to remember your

wife's birthday is to forget it once....



-Nash





You know what I did before I married?

Anything I wanted to.



-Anonymous





My wife and I were happy for twenty years.

Then we met.



-Henny Youngman





A good wife always forgives her husband

when she's wrong.



-Rodney Dangerfield





A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:

'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred

letters. They all said the same thing:

'You can have mine.'



-Anonymous





First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'



-Anonymous




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