Giita

Boy: May I hold your hand?

Girl: No, thanks. It isn't heavy.



Girl: Say you love me! Say you love me!

Boy: You love me...



Girl: If we become engaged,

　　will you give me a ring?

Boy: Sure, what's your phone number?



Girl: I think the poorest people are

　　the happiest.

Boy: Then marry me and we'll be

　　the happiest couple.



Girl: Darling, I want to dance like this

　　forever.

Boy: Don't you ever want to improve?



Boy: I love you and I could die for you!

Girl: How soon?



Boy: I would go to the end of the world

　　for you!

Girl: Yes, but would you stay there?



Sharon: Have you ever had a hot

　　passionate, burning kiss?

Tracy: I did once. He'd forgotten to take

　　the cigarette out of his mouth.



Man: You remind me of the sea.

Woman: Because I'm wild, romantic and

　　exciting?

Man: NO, because you make me sick.



Wife: You tell a man something. It goes in

　　one ear and comes out of the other.

Husband: You tell a woman something. It

　　goes in both ears and comes out of

　　the mouth.



Mary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says

　　I'm ugly. What do you think, Pete?

Pete: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.



Girlfriend: Are you sure you love me and no

　　one else?

Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole

　　list again yesterday.



Teacher: Which is more important to us,

　　the sun or the moon?

Pupil: The moon.

Teacher: Why?

Pupil: The moon gives us light at night when

　　we need it, but the sun gives us light only

　　in the daytime when we don't need it.



Teacher: What do you call a person who

　　keeps on talking when people are no

　　longer interested?

Pupil: A teacher.



Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?

Customer: What other colors do you have?



Teacher: Sam, you talk a lot!

Sam: It's a family tradition.

Teacher: What do you mean?

Sam: Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker,

　　my father is a teacher.

Teacher: What about your mother?

Sam: She's a woman.



Tom: How should I convey the news to

　　my father that I've failed?

Joe: You just send a telegram: Result

　　declared, past year's performance

　　repeated.



Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man

　　beating a donkey and stopped him,

　　what virtue would I be showing?

Student: Brotherly love.



Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do

　　you say prayers before eating?

Sam: No sir, I don't have to. My mom

　　is a good cook.



Patient: What are the chances of my

　　recovering, doctor?

Doctor: One hundred percent. Medical

　　records show that nine out of ten

　　people die of the disease you have.

　　Yours is the tenth case I've treated.

　　The others all died.



Teacher: Can anybody give an example of

　　COINCIDENCE?

Student: Sir, my Mum and Dad got married

　　on the same day and at the same time.



Teacher: George Washington not only

　　chopped down his father's cherry tree,

　　but also admitted doing it. Now do you

　　know why his father didn't punish him?

Student: Because George still had the axe

　　in his hand.